Clay County - News Flash

Liberty - News Flash

"Church Dumpster Diving: The Latest Trend in Gladstone Leaves Churches and Schools 'Thrilled'"


In a shocking turn of events, the good folks of Gladstone have discovered a new and exciting hobby: raiding church and school dumpsters without permission! Move over, skydiving and bungee jumping, because dumpster diving is the adrenaline rush of the season.

Witnesses in the community have reported jaw-dropping scenes of dumpster delinquency. One brave soul even managed to capture a woman in the act of attempting to pry open a locked dumpster lid. Alas, her trash-stuffing endeavors were met with disappointment, leading her to unleash her frustration by dumping her garbage right on the ground. Classy move, madam.

It appears that there's a peculiar misconception floating around Gladstone. Some seem to believe that when churches have dumpsters, it's an open invitation for everyone and their cousin to swing by and contribute to the overflowing rubbish pile. Well, newsflash, folks: that's not usually the case!

You see, renting a dumpster isn't exactly free. Shocking, we know. Those who avail themselves of this luxury have to pay based on the size of the dumpster, the cubic yards it can hold, and how frequently it needs to be emptied. It's a complex financial equation that some people seem to have overlooked while planning their dumpster-diving escapades.

Sure, maybe the large churches in town have budgeted for more dumpster space than their humble congregations can fill. But guess what? They still have to pay for the number of pickups and cubic yards of waste collected. So, when friendly neighbors take it upon themselves to lend a helping hand by filling up those dumpsters, it ends up being an unexpected expense that strains the church's finances. How thoughtful of them!

Now, dear dumpster divers, unless you have received an engraved invitation from the church explicitly granting you access to their waste receptacle, we kindly suggest you consider alternative options. And no, we don't mean chucking your trash onto the side of the road either, in case your sarcasm detector isn't quite up to par. Let's all do our part to keep Gladstone tidy, shall we?

In the meantime, we eagerly await the next thrilling chapter in the saga of Gladstone's dumpster-diving aficionados. Will they conquer new dumpsters? Will they break records for most trash stuffed in a single night? Only time will tell. Stay tuned, folks, because this is one trend that's just too irresistible to ignore!