ClayCO Commissioner Jason Withington's Bold Plan: Convincing Royals to Relocate and Save Missouri Taxpayers!

Oh, what a time to be alive! Jason Withington, the master negotiator, and his trusty band are on a quest to save the good people of Clay County. His mission? To strike a deal with the Kansas City Royals, an organization so overflowing with cash that they have to be begging to give it all away to taxpayers. It's a tale of heroism, selflessness, and a burning desire to bring a Major League Baseball team to the heart of Clay County. Move over, Avengers; we've got Jason Withington on the case!

Withington and his fellow commissioners are laser-focused on achieving the impossible - to bring the Royals and a staggering $2.5 billion in private development to Clay County. Because why not? Taxpayer dollars must be itching to jump into this glorious pot of gold.

But wait, there's more! This plan is not just about stealing the Royals from Kansas City; it's about creating the "Missouri solution." Withington and his gang are determined to ensure that the Royals and the Kansas City Chiefs stay in the Show-Me State. Who cares about tradition or history? The good ol' Missouri way is to kidnap teams from their homes and rename it "solutions."

Let's not forget the moral high ground Jason Withington and company stand upon. They promise to craft a fair deal for the taxpayers. Fair, as in, we'll generously allow taxpayers to pay for a baseball team and massive private development while still being "fair." It's the kind of fairness that will make the rich richer and the average taxpayer wonder why they ever complained about property taxes.

In a stroke of genius, Withington's plan also includes developing a "generational project" that will be a catalyst for other projects in Clay County, including the redevelopment of Harlem, or as they put it, #HarlemKC. Because nothing says "progress" like renaming areas of your county with a hashtag.

In conclusion, Jason Withington's grand plan is nothing short of miraculous. Who needs healthcare, education, or infrastructure when we can have baseball and private developments that cater to the wealthy? If there's one thing this world needs, it's more billionaire sports team owners getting even richer while taxpayers foot the bill. Jason Withington, we salute you for your dedication to making sure that the Royals reign supreme in Clay County and that taxpayers get the honor of opening their wallets. Bravo!