Gladstone News

KC Northland Overrun With Seedy Strip Malls?

 In a groundbreaking urban development that has left residents astounded, the Northland area of Kansas City is experiencing an unprecedented boom in seedy strip malls, bringing together the ultimate trifecta of necessary establishments: Liqueur stores, weed shops, and payday loan outlets. It's a veritable paradise for those seeking convenience, questionable financial decisions, and a dizzying array of intoxicating options—all in one place.

Gladstone, despite its commitment to developing sophisticated upscale retail options in the Lindenwood historical neighborhood, has become the epicenter of this avant-garde retail revolution. Forget about quaint boutiques, artisanal coffee shops, or upscale restaurants; the future of urban living is all about getting your spirits, greenery, and cash advances in the same parking lot.

The collapse of traditional retail, blamed on the rise of online shopping, has paved the way for this visionary urban planning. As large department stores crumbled, Metro North Mall died, Zona Rosa Shops emptied, and e-commerce giants dominate, the Northland has found a new calling: embracing the charm of strip malls that cater to the base tastes of their discerning clientele. A surge in the prevalence of strip malls along North Oak Trafficway and Barry Road in the Kansas City Northland area is raising concerns among residents and local officials. The ultimate trifecta of liquor stores, weed shops, and payday loan outlets has become a prominent feature in these areas, prompting Councilman Nathan Willett to take action.

Councilman WIllett

Councilman Nathan Willett, a self-proclaimed visionary leader with what is most certainly his own keen sense of what constitutes an ideal cityscape, is stepping up to establish some much-needed ground rules. He's proposing a moratorium on any permits, plan reviews, project plans, and zoning changes related to liquor stores or vape shops. Because, clearly, the true mark of a thriving community is not measured in the number of vape clouds or liquor bottles lining the streets.

"I don't think a ton of vape or liquor stores is what we want to see," Councilman Nathan Willett said, highlighting his deep understanding of the sophisticated palate of the Northland residents.

Willett's proposal is sure to spark a heated debate among residents who have grown fond of the convenience of having their vices within walking distance. After all, who needs green spaces, cultural venues, or well-lit streets when you can have the luxury of stumbling from one neon-lit storefront to another?

In this bold new world of urban planning, The KC Northland stands tall as the beacon of progress, offering its residents the ultimate in retail decadence. Who needs upscale shopping and fine dining when you can have a potent cocktail, a relaxing puff, and a hefty payday loan—all in one carefully curated strip mall? Welcome to the future, Northland. It's a place where sophistication meets convenience, and city planning is an art form that truly knows no bounds.